Parents Advice

"It became nearly impossible to get my daughter up for school. Getting to bed(sleep), especially during
mania, was something close to impossible for her. With the help of her school we made a change to her
I.E.P., we decided to change her schedule. They allowed her to attend for her 4 core classes only. This
allowed my daughters' day to start at 9:35am and end at 1:50pm. That way she could get the extra hours
of sleep she needed or if she had difficulty getting to sleep more time to get up and around. It also helped
getting out early so if there was homework to be done we could get started and have a break when her
friends got out of school."
Tami

"When my son has trouble I try to find out why. Once I made a list of complaints and the doctor asked me
to try to keep a calendar for a week. Noting time of day for medications, time asleep and time awake,
and bad behaviors, and if anything unusual happened that day to trigger it. When I did this, the doctor was
able to see we were having much more manic problems and that a medication adjustment needed to be
made. The doctor pays close attention to sleep patterns. I can't tell you how helpful it is when I took good
notes for the doctor! We become a team this way. I feel like things are less out of control when I
understand why things are happening and what the brain is doing. I feel like the more I understand 'why'
the better ideas I may get to help with transition and to help my son feel more secure. But there never
seems to be enough info and that I've been told is because it's experience that gives you the answers. I
try to remember there's not just one way to do things. When things get really out of control, I turn off TV, all
appliances, and any 'noise.' Then I play quiet classical music or soothing nature music etc. with only
lamps or candle light. Sometimes that is more helpful than medication. If my son is sad, I play happy
bouncy, jazzy music. Or some of his favorite music so he'll dance. He always feels better after a wild
dance! I have everything in my son's closet, so if we're approaching meltdown, the closet door gets
locked (I installed a tool bar lock with a padlock). He helped me plan his room decor. He has a bed, a
palm tree and a tiny fish tank (not glass) in his room. Nothing on the walls, and its a soothing green
because he gets overwhelmed easily. I recently got him a yoga exercise ball, and when he gets angry I
give him the option of a time out or 5 minutes of rolling and bouncing on the yoga ball. (we usually choose
the ball of course) I try really hard to have dinner together as a family, at the dining room table. The
children help my husband and I cook, and even help meal plan and go grocery shopping. They love
helping with dinner and having time to visit. It has immensely helped with communication. I do feel tired a
lot after a long day with my children's health issues, but now I know that's OK and normal." Anonymous

"Dig deep for the courage and fortitude to get you through the dark days. Find a little corner of the world
to be alone in for a few minutes. Cry. Find some humor in the depths of hell that you are in. Grin. Cry
some more. Put on a rock-solid front of strength and certainty like a lustrous strand of pearls. Love your
child. Above all else, love your child. Tell them everything will be OK until they believe it (even though you
know it won't be OK for the rest of their life). You are the frayed strand of hope and love that they will cling
to in their darkest hour." Anonymous

"When my son is feeling very agitated, uncontrollable, can't sit still, or is very angry he then asks for a big
hug from me. This has released a lot of tension from him. When he is totally out of control I ask him if he
needs one. In doing this he does not hit me that much anymore." Anonymous

"I am 30 yrs old and was diagnosed with bipolar after my son, who is 5, was diagnosed. We both take
medicine in the morning and at bedtime, so we race to see who can take theirs first. Of course, he
always wins." :) Anonymous

"My son Robby is 5 and he is bipolar with adhd, we have found that a good way to calm down is for
MOMMY to light candles in a really dark room, then we lay on the bed and listen to classical lullabies.
Because my husband and I are with him, he knows that it is okay to feel the way he does. He also knows
that his daddy and I know how hard it is for him to calm down on his own and that we will help him any way
we can." Krissy

"After my son was placed in the hospital, I was a mess and went to see a neurologist. It was at that time
that I myself was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety disorders. I began taking meds, seeing
the doctor on a regular basis and left my job as a special education teacher after 22 years. Just taking
care of my son was a job that was hard to handle and I began to have problems keeping up with my
career. It was at that time I realized I could not take care of my son unless I took care of myself first. This
is so important for parents of bipolar children. I spent years giving all of myself to my students, then add a
husband and then add our beautiful son who is Bipolar, ADHD, ODD and has an anxiety disorder. It was
too late before I realized that I was falling apart and went to get help. Only a parent who has a bipolar
child could even understand what I had been going through. It is so hard for other's to truly grasp the
enormous burden and responsibility it is. I felt so guilty not being able to help my child with all of my years
of experiences dealing with various severe handicapped students. I read books, talked to school
psychologists, counselors, mental health, and searched the internet for answers. Despite my educational
background, there was plenty I needed to learn. The first lesson was the realization that my husband and I
needed some outside help. We contacted mental health services and obtained a case manager for my
son. She helped us with placing our nine year old fourth grader in a special residential school run by the
state at no cost. A state van picks our son up at a pickup point on Monday mornings and also drops him
off for me to bring home on Fridays. We have already noticed a great deal of improvement in our son. He
started there Sept. 12th, 2005. We keep a week-end diary of his progress and recieve notes and
updates from the school weekly as well. We also have a therapist who visits us at our home every Friday
evening. She is helping our whole family through the good and the bad. It is such a relief to have gotten
this far and my familily is feeling so much happier. Another lesson my husband and I learned was that we
needed some healing time with each other. We had not spent time on our relationship and are now
laughing and enjoying just being husband and wife. We had forgotten how much fun we used to have just
relaxing and even going out on a date! We also learned that we need ME TIME as well. My husband
loves to 'play' out in his woodworking shop, while I play my guitar or write poetry. Some days things just
pop into my head like this poem I wrote about our son.

MY BIPOLAR BOY

My Bipolar boy is often quite sad.
There are days he is silly or extremely mad.
People shun him and say he is crazy,
Other's call him stupid and lazy.
But, I know when he cries at night,
afraid of the world and his awful plight;
he did not ask to be born Bipolar.
The Doctors, the needles, and all of those meds;
are enough to fill anyone with dread.
He is only nine and has endured quite alot,
and all of this started as a young tot.
He has a mental illness I tell his teachers,
and all of those other critical non-believers.
They judge him harshly and don't know he's smart;
he is often made fun of and it breaks his heart.
GIVE HIM A CHANCE!!!! I want to scream to others.
I know him best ... I am his mother."
Kathrine Crawford Mother of Cody age nine

"My son Cody, age 7, can earn a sticker for good behavior at home, good behaviorat school and for
helping out around the house. He can earn up to 3 stickers in aday. After 10 stickers he receives a dollar.
It works well. It is also used as a behavior tool. If he has a bad day at school or at home he could lose a
sticker. Hope this gives other parents an idea." Gina, Upstate, NY

"My daughter was diagnosed at age eight with bipolar and ADHD. When she is'losing it' and I realize it ...
I grab her and hug her tight. I tell her that I am going to hug her tight until she calms down and I don't care
how long it takes. She usually cries and squirms a bit for a while, but eventually she calms down. I know
she is ok when she says, 'Thanks mom.' She is now almost 13 and quite big, but this still works."
Anonymous